How grateful I am for this long afternoon alone. Rainy and dreary, yes, but all mine. This has been a stressful week or two -- nothing specific has happened, but every little thing seems to be setting me off. I've been feeling tender. Like I need a good, long cry. But who has the time to cry while chasing around and caring for an active, vocal, vibrant little two-year old?
Things are subtely changing, maybe that's it. Somehow my boy turning two-and-a-half seems big to me. He's still most certainly a baby in so many ways, but he seems more and more like a kid. It's not just that he's finding his voice (a gentle way of describing the notorious two-year-old tantrums). He looks longer, his face has lost some of its roundness. He doesn't need me to help him up and down the steps (though I stay close by). He has developed a new sense of empathy, displaying real concern over my tummy aches, seeming to really understand that it hurts his friend's feelings if he grabs her toy.
But anyway, back to my afternoon. I ate a bowl of food, lit a candle, and read the latest incarnation of my manuscript. (The title that you see some of up there is probably not the title.) I feel, for the first time, quite certain that I don't need to write anymore new poems. And for all the tweaking I do here and there with sections and stuff, I seem to always come back to the same order, the same arc. So that's probably what it is. I will certainly be doing line edits, and reshuffling the poems a bit, but I'm pretty certain I am done with the basic writing of it. That's big, and feels, too, like a new chapter of my life beginning. I have started a new folder on my computer for new poems. I have three in it so far.
Oh, and some nice news! I've been asked to do mini-reviews of three poetry books, which means that I will receive free poetry books. And a little cash for doing the reviews. They look like good books too. Now if only some of the journals reviewing my poems would get back to me. Rejection, acceptance, whatever -- I'd just like to find out what is going on. Why has it been taking so long lately?
Soon the boys will be home. I'm going to go look at my poems again.
Things are subtely changing, maybe that's it. Somehow my boy turning two-and-a-half seems big to me. He's still most certainly a baby in so many ways, but he seems more and more like a kid. It's not just that he's finding his voice (a gentle way of describing the notorious two-year-old tantrums). He looks longer, his face has lost some of its roundness. He doesn't need me to help him up and down the steps (though I stay close by). He has developed a new sense of empathy, displaying real concern over my tummy aches, seeming to really understand that it hurts his friend's feelings if he grabs her toy.
But anyway, back to my afternoon. I ate a bowl of food, lit a candle, and read the latest incarnation of my manuscript. (The title that you see some of up there is probably not the title.) I feel, for the first time, quite certain that I don't need to write anymore new poems. And for all the tweaking I do here and there with sections and stuff, I seem to always come back to the same order, the same arc. So that's probably what it is. I will certainly be doing line edits, and reshuffling the poems a bit, but I'm pretty certain I am done with the basic writing of it. That's big, and feels, too, like a new chapter of my life beginning. I have started a new folder on my computer for new poems. I have three in it so far.
Oh, and some nice news! I've been asked to do mini-reviews of three poetry books, which means that I will receive free poetry books. And a little cash for doing the reviews. They look like good books too. Now if only some of the journals reviewing my poems would get back to me. Rejection, acceptance, whatever -- I'd just like to find out what is going on. Why has it been taking so long lately?
Soon the boys will be home. I'm going to go look at my poems again.
1 comments:
Aaahhh...sounds like a lovely afternoon.
Post a Comment